Today I thought about quitting the program. Not sure where that came from. I guess I just woke up and didn’t feel like
facing the day. I’m so grateful to
Spirit I had the good sense to reach out to someone. I felt better after sharing with x. I really like her. After that, I started cleaning just to get my
mind on something else. Considering I
was up so early, I was almost late for work!
So here’s my theory, I was really off my routine way too
long while on vacation. I usually try to
do at least two meetings a week. I
attended one meeting the entire time I was there. I also was doing my regular check-ins. Even though I was able to send my check-ins
to my sponsor each even, I think it would have helped to physically take the
time to write down what I was eating, write down a daily gratitude list, and
write down my 10th step inventory.
I will give myself credit for keeping up with my workout routine.
Another thing that wreak havoc on my program was eating out
so much. Truthfully, the last two days I
could have cried. I did not want to eat
out but it was the best way to get together with my friends….meeting them in a
central place after they got off work, etc. There were days I had all my meals in a
restaurant. While I made healthy choices, mostly salads,
it was way too much for me. Eating out
like that was too much like my old eating days. I probably should have eaten at my Dad’s and
then just socialized.
Now that I’m home it’s been a struggle to get back into my
routine. It’s a struggle to check
in. It’s a struggle to prepare
meals. It’s a struggle to stay focused on
my program. The fact that I hurt my back
created a struggle to work out. Lately
I’ve just been a grumpy, self-absorbed mess.
I was able to get some great (and somewhat painful) feedback from the
people in my meditation group.
I like what x said, just
put on your big-girl panties. She’s
right….
So here I am putting on my big-girl panties. Just for today, I will work my program to the
best of my ability and make an appointment for an adjustment.
I also need to make sure I have a better plan of action for
my birthday vacation in September.
