Freedom from Compulsive Overeating

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Big Girl Panties


Today I thought about quitting the program.  Not sure where that came from.  I guess I just woke up and didn’t feel like facing the day.  I’m so grateful to Spirit I had the good sense to reach out to someone.  I felt better after sharing with x.  I really like her.  After that, I started cleaning just to get my mind on something else.  Considering I was up so early, I was almost late for work!

So here’s my theory, I was really off my routine way too long while on vacation.  I usually try to do at least two meetings a week.  I attended one meeting the entire time I was there.  I also was doing my regular check-ins.  Even though I was able to send my check-ins to my sponsor each even, I think it would have helped to physically take the time to write down what I was eating, write down a daily gratitude list, and write down my 10th step inventory.  I will give myself credit for keeping up with my workout routine.

Another thing that wreak havoc on my program was eating out so much.  Truthfully, the last two days I could have cried.  I did not want to eat out but it was the best way to get together with my friends….meeting them in a central place after they got off work, etc.  There were days I had all my meals in a restaurant.   While I made healthy choices, mostly salads, it was way too much for me.   Eating out like that was too much like my old eating days.  I probably should have eaten at my Dad’s and then just socialized.

Now that I’m home it’s been a struggle to get back into my routine.  It’s a struggle to check in.  It’s a struggle to prepare meals.  It’s a struggle to stay focused on my program.  The fact that I hurt my back created a struggle to work out.   Lately I’ve just been a grumpy, self-absorbed mess.  I was able to get some great (and somewhat painful) feedback from the people in my meditation group.

I like what x said, just put on your big-girl panties.  She’s right….

So here I am putting on my big-girl panties.  Just for today, I will work my program to the best of my ability and make an appointment for an adjustment.

I also need to make sure I have a better plan of action for my birthday vacation in September. 

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