The How and Why of It

.…but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

~AABB, page 62

When I read this passage a few weeks ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s a very sobering and humbling experience to realize that I had a hand in the pain I perceive others inflicting on me. However, I can see it clear as water. As tough as this is to swallow, I am very grateful for this awareness because it is helping me to cope.

This has been a pretty rough week for me emotionally and spiritually. I go from anger to sadness and from sadness to anger. In between those moments, I experience such peace of mind and acceptance. Despite the pain I have inflicted on myself, I shall live and not die!

Out of the Closet

Today I completed a great task. I went through my closet and removed all the clothes that no longer fit. I hauled three large garbage bags to Goodwill. There were moments of sadness this evening. Those clothes were symbolic of a different time and space in my life. Out with the old and in with the new.

I saw my spiritual counselor yesterday. He commented that I looked happy. I don’t know about feeling happy but I do feel at peace with many things in my life right now. Getting rid of those clothes was part of my letting go process.

Although I experienced some sadness, there is a great sense of relief and freedom right now. I’m allowing room for more good/God in my life. I stood back and looked at my closet all neat and organized. I now realize I need to incorporate more color in my wardrobe.

One Year!

Yay! I am very grateful that I have been free from compulsive overeating for one year!

I just returned from an amazing OA retreat. The theme was "Free at Last!" I love that I was able to spend this weekend going to meetings and sharing. It was a great way to celebrate my abstinence!