Unsettledness

For today:  I rejoice that the feeling of being unsettled – having many problems to deal with, much  adjusting to do – sends me to my Higher Power instead of the refrigerator.” page. 332

Have you been unsettled?   If so, what gift(s) does that bring?

Where should I start?  Ending an 11-year relationship, moving into a new place in five days, released a 15-year friendship, a very dear friend I’ve known since 2^nd grade made his transition over the summer, new and extra duties at work (in addition to learning a new system scheduled to launch in two weeks), and I joined OA in August.

Despite all of these unsettling events over the past months, I have received many gifts and miracles.  I am learning a new way of being. I am most grateful for Spirit leading me to OA instead of drowning my sorrows in a plate of food.  I am very grateful for my awesome, supportive sponsor.  I have met so many wonderful, supportive people.  It’s so comforting to know there are people out there who understand what I’m going through. I also appreciate the opportunity and gift to be of service to others. My relationship with my Higher Power gets stronger each day. I also have the wonderful miracle and gift of over 50 days of abstinence.

What strategies have you found helpful in times of difficulty?

Daily and multiple prayer and meditation sessions have been very helpful.  Reaching out to my sponsor and learning from her ESH on a daily basis has been extremely helpful.  I reach out and fellowship with other OA friends.  I have made a commitment to journal on a regular basis.

I also have various quotes, affirmations, and Step Prayers posted throughout my home to help me stay present.

Is there anything else, on this topic or another, you’d like to say?

One of the things I have learned to appreciate from fellowship in OA is that I am not alone, that there are others who can relate to what I am feeling.  This has helped me to begin having more compassion for those I blame from some of the unsettling events in my life right now.  In fact, this week, I found myself praying for them because I know they are just as anxious and unsettled about things as I am at times.  I have prayed that we all stay present and take things one day at a time. 

Thanks for listening,

Sheila

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello!  My name is Sheila and I am a compulsive overeater.

There are a marathon of meetings, in all sorts of venues, going on today.  I attended a face to face meeting this morning and plan to attend an online meeting tonight.  This will be my way of expressing gratitude and giving service to a program that is changing my life.  Let me start by saying I have only been in OA since August.  However, I was expecting there to be a lot of people at the meeting this morning.  It was me and the leader.  I am very grateful I attended.

First of all, on my way to the meeting, I tried to talk myself out of going.  I kept thinking...is this really necessary?  I usually attend a Saturday face to face meeting.  Afterall, I feel very calm about sharing Thanksgiving meal at my friend's house.  Then, as I was driving, I saw people walking, cycling, and jogging.  I thought to myself...they're taking care of self.  Going to a meeting is taking care of yourself, Sheila.  Anyhow, I'm glad I attended. 

We had a short meeting of shares and then we just sat and chatted about the program.  I'm working on Step Seven so she had her experience, strength, and hope about taking Step Seven with me. 

Today is Day 55 of abstinence for me.  I am praying and thanking Spirit in advance that I, and my OA fellows, will remain abstinent throughout this day of Thanksgiving. 

Yours in Recovery~

Sheila

Attitude of Gratitude

Hello!  Sheila, compulsive overeater checking in. Despite the holiday, gratitude has been on my mind a lot for the past two weeks.  Each day I submit a gratitude list to my sponsor.  There are some days I find it hard to think of things to be grateful for.  This is a good indication that I am not present and have not surrendered my all to Spirit.  When I am in my head and not my heart, all sorts of havoc can begin.  If I truly started counting my blessings, I don’t know when I could stop.

Today I am grateful for abstinence.  Last night I was talking to my sponsor and told her how I get filled with so much emotion when I think about the fact that I have been abstinent for over 50 days now.  When I first committed to my food plan, I was going to be happy if I lasted a week.  The miracle of it all is that my food plan includes not eating after 9 pm. (Yes, I’m a night eater.)  Anyhow, I have not done so in over 50 days and I am determined to get my 60 day coin.  However, OA is a “we” program.  I have not accomplished this alone. It’s been me and everyone who has supported me, all the shares in the meetings, all the phone calls and texts from my wonderful sponsor, all the prayers to Spirit.  Without this concerted effort, I would still be buried in the food.  I am so grateful to be in a healing space right now. Thank you, kind Spirit!

Introduction

Hi my name is Sheila and I am a compulsive overeater. Well, I have decided to start another blog. I have a fitness blog. However, in keeping with OA tradition, I think it’s best not to mix the two. Plus, I plan to use this blog as a journal. I attended an OA workshop and realize I do not use the tool of writing often enough.

I joined OA one desperate Friday night in August. I was despondent over the break of an 11-year relationship. I’d lost 60 pounds on my own and was very afraid I was going to regain the weight. I’d spent the evening arguing with myself over the purchase of a slice of cake. I remember walking around that store telling myself not to buy it. I purchased it anyhow. Then I told myself to throw it away before I got home. I kept driving. I sat in the garage telling myself to put it in the trash before going in the house. I didn’t do it. Before I knew it, I had inhaled that piece of cake and a family size box of Crunch and Munch. I knew I was in trouble.

To tell you the truth, I do not know how I ended up at that OA meeting online that night. I was probably researching something about eating. It was a pretty foggy (mentally and spiritually) night. I remember sitting there all disgusted with myself staring at the screen. I remember one lady sending me a private message welcoming me and explaining the ins and outs of the meeting. I liked it so much I attended the next night and the next night. Some of those nights in the beginning I was eating right before, during, or after the meeting. I was really, really insane.

Four months later I’m doing much better. I have been abstinent for 52 days now! I have a wonderful, loving, supportive sponsor. I attend OA meetings online two or three times a week and face to face meetings once a week. I am very grateful for recovery. OA is helping me be a better me. I have my ups and downs. I am trying my best to do the footwork that will lead me to serenity.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.