Retreat

This time next week I will be on my way to a 10-day silent meditation retreat.  I am so anxious.  Of course the compulsive overeater in me is worry about the food.  Will I get enough to eat?  What will they serve?  Will I like the food?  Whenever I travel, I feel this anxiousness about meals.   I know I will be out of my routine.  As my anxiety level rises, so do my cravings to binge.  Thankfully, this is a meditation retreat and all I will be doing in focusing on the present moment while learning to let go of all these types of attachments. 

This retreat is apparently popular within the 12-step community.  One of the guys in my meditation group, who is also in AA, told me about this retreat. He has been encouraging me to attend.   When I was at an OA retreat this spring, someone at dinner mentioned it.  I do find this comforting and confirming.  It’s not like I’m going to this place totally blind.  I’ve had the opportunity to chat with at least two people who are familiar with the retreat.  The guy in my meditation group was able to give me some very helpful advice:  request a cushion against the wall, bring your own water bottle, and pack some Advil for your back. 

I am really worried about my health.  My back hurts and I think I’m coming down with a cold.  I’m planning to get a flu shot tomorrow.  I wanted to get an adjustment today but my chiropractor is on vacation! Ugh!  Take a deep breath! Today I made up my mind if I’m not feeling better over the weekend. I am going to have to give up my spot at the retreat.  I’m praying for the best.