Two Years!

How funny is it that my sponsor had to remind that today is my two-year anniversary?  Lol! I really do not know what to say except that it's a miracle.  I never thought I could go two days without a box of Crunch and Munch or a piece of cake, let alone two years!

It has definitely been worth all the rough nights and tears. Who cries because she really wants to eat sweets?  Just goes to show you just how sick I was.

I am very grateful for my sponsor.  We've had a ups and downs.  Struggles of ego, power, and control.  She's the perfect sponsor for me.  I do know she can be overbearing but I realize it's her issue, not mine.  The most important thing is that she has what I want I am willing to go whatever length it is to get it. 

Has my abstinence been perfect?  No...but I can say I have not had one single bite of my favorite binge foods.  Every once in a while, my compulsion would show up -- too much caffeine, weighing myself up to six times a day, depression, etc.  Yet, I was too afraid to pick up those foods.

Through it all, I have learned that my addiction to sugar and certain foods is a spiritual ailment.  I am more convinced of this than ever before.  Right now I'm dealing with body image issues. In my mind, I am much better than I am.  While travelling, I was so worried that I wasn't going to fit in my airplane seat or that my seatbelt wasn't going to fit.  I bought a pair of pants that are too big.  I'm also starting to get self-conscious about my jogging.  In my mind, I'm too fat to run.

I know all be okay as long as I keep working the steps and being honest with myself.