Humility

At yesterday’s meeting we read the 11^th tradition in the OA 12 + 12.  I’ve read this tradition several times but yesterday was the first time the tradition really clicked for me.  In addition to placing principles over personalities, the tradition is also about humility and spiritual fitness.  On page 196 it says, Humility is one of the essentials qualities we must develop in order to recover from compulsive eating.  Maintaining our anonymity at the level of the public media is one way in which we practice humility.  It’s one way in which we let go of personal ambition in order to keep ourselves in fit spiritual condition.

This passage really hit me yesterday.  As someone who has spent most of her life driven by self-will and ego, I can truly testify that working the steps has brought me a tremendous amount of peace and serenity.  While I can be fiercely competitive, I can now do this without the need to shine or stand out.  I do my best to think of “we” instead of “I.”  Living this way is so liberating.

I have also found that that things work out.  A great example of this happened a few weeks ago.  During our quarterly departmental meeting, I was recognized for my work on the Social Media team.  It was totally unexpected.  The truth is I can’t tell you how many times I was angry and upset over the past years that I did not receive a recognition award when I had worked my butt off trying to be recognized.  Sometimes I did receive an award, but the times I did not I was totally resentful about it.  I can’t tell you the last time I thought about receiving one of those awards and this one just fell in my lap. 

I know my abstinence is due to the hard work of others.  While I do the footwork, I do have many people who have support me – the people in my meetings, the people who lead the meetings, my sponsor, and all my OA buddies who I listen to me.  There is no way I could do this alone so I can’t take all the credit.  I also can’t think only of my recovery when there are so many others who are still suffering.  A few days ago someone posted something on Facebook that really spoke to me: