Insight Meditation

It’s been one week since I returned from my meditation retreat.  I’m still having trouble articulating what I experienced.  I’m having lunch with two people from my meditation group this afternoon so we can discuss it.

First of all, I am very proud of myself for going through the experience.  It wasn’t easy.  It also wasn’t as hard as I expected.  I did my best to stick to the schedule and do what I was told.  Meditating for 8 to 10 hours a day is no joke!  Being silent gives you no choice but to either observe your thoughts or participate with them.  I did a bit of both.  Days three and six were the worst.  In fact, on day 6, I participated with my thoughts so much I started hallucinating! It was wild!

I did gain some wonderful information that will help me with my meditation practice.  I also fully understand the Vipassana meditation technique and it confirmed that this is my preferred meditation technique.  The whole mind-body connection resonates with me.

I also gained some insights about myself.  The first one was that while I do have some awareness it is the subtle things I need to pay attention to.  In fact, I know this was a major opportunity in my previous relationship.  I let those subtle things go by that would have alerted me to my ex’s character (and possible mental illness).  I also realize I have a lot of self-doubt about what I truly believe.  My belief system has been so shaken and challenged over the past two years.  The last thing I started realizing right before going to the retreat is working on surrounding myself with like-minded people.  The more I surround myself with loving, supportive people, the more peaceful my life can become.