Tao of Recovery

I just started reading this very fascinating book.  It's not an OA-approved book.  My ex gave it to me over six years ago.  The publisher rented space in her building and was giving away a few titles.  She picked up a few, including this one.  I was reading the Tao Te Ching at the time so I guess that's why she thought I would be interested in reading it.  Wow!  Who would have known years later I would be in recovery.  I never even opened the book until three days ago.  I love it! 

It's a series of interpretations (poetry really) on the Tao Te Ching.  I could really relate to a passage I read in the foreword:

At its essence, recovering is also uncovering - uncovering that which was hidden by alcohol, drugs, abuse, or loss.  Often what was hidden was not, as many of us suspected, some terrible darkness or defect.  Rather, what was hidden was our fundamental inner perfection, our true spiritual nature - what Thomas Merton called "our hidden wholeness."

I can really relate to the uncovering of "true spiritual nature."  I was thinking the other day about how I am working towards being more authentic.  A lot of this has to do with getting out of my dysfunctional relationship.  Honestly, I did not know how dyfunctional it was until last week.  I did not see how much of myself was lost over the last 11 years.  The second part has to do with being abstinent.  I shared this in a meeting earlier today.  I've definitely gained a lot of clarity on my path to recovery. I am finally getting back to me.  I've been abstinent 85 days now.

I was watching the movie "Doubt" today.  I recognized so many sublities I missed in that movie because I was in a fog of food and my relationship.  I flashed back to being very tense with Crystal about something that day.  I remember not really paying attention to the movie because I was preoccupied with whatever B.S. was going on with us at the time.  So, today is the first time I really saw the moview.  I also that about how many other movies I really need to view again now that I can experience the now, being present, and being aware.