Beliefs

I am still operating with an old belief system that is no longer working for me: overcome evil with good. I was taught that if you treat people with kindness they will eventually “see the light” so to speak. I am learning that this is not necessarily true. There’s a difference between being kind and being a pushover or a doormat. If you turn the other cheek with some people, they’re just going to slap it.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world who are so sick that they cannot receive kindness. I must remind myself it is not personal. Some people have just been so harmed by others that they continue to create even more pain by being unwilling to let their guard down. They aren’t able to react to kindness with kindness. I guess it’s because their belief system tells them that in order to get anything from life you have to lie, manipulate, and be mean.

Yet, I am only responsible for my behavior. So, for today, I accept that I had to do something that feels a little uncomfortable to me. It doesn't mean I do not love the person because I truly do. However, I had to take a stance and set boundaries. Last week in our reading from my meditation meeting the following quote has continued to resonate with me:

We look for love with clenched fists....

We often say we want something we do not even know how to receive. Still there are others who really cannot recognize love when it is staring them in the face because they have been so badly beaten down by others in the past. Today, this is neither here nor there in my situation. You reach a point when you have to say enough is enough. I cannot continue to allow someone to continue dumping on me all the while expecting me to give. It's just like that with some people. They expect more than they are willing to give.

Most important than being kind to others is being kind to myself. I have to take care of myself. I will take care of myself. I am taking care of myself. It feels a little awkward but it is a change I want to make. No one else is going to look out for me.

Today I am creating boundaries and creating a new belief system.

So, for today, I, once again, remind myself of the words from the Acceptance Prayer:

“I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitude.”