Unbearable Lightness

I just finished reading Unbearable Lightness by Porti de Rossi. It was a great read. My sponsor was reading it so I decided to read it too.
It was very honest and emotional. Although I do not have anorexia and have never purged, I could really relate to a lot of her food experiences. At times I found it triggering. My sponsor, who is a recovered anorexic, found it triggering as well. An eating disorder is an eating disorder; it’s all about powerlessness.

It really stuck me how much of her experience with sexuality and her mother was similar to mine. When I came out to my mother, she asked me not to tell anyone else in the family. It’s a terrible burden to bear. I often suspect that my issues with sexuality contributed to my overeating more than I realize.

I was a bit disappointed in the ending. Although she went through great lengths to describe how she progressed into anorexia and bulimia, I didn’t feel like she gave the same care in her description about her recovery process.

I also found myself judging her eating plan when she admits that some days she’ll eat a large bag of chips as a meal for lunch. I also felt that if she was willing to share photos of herself at her lowest weight (around 82), she should have shared photos of herself at her highest weight (around 168.)

The bottom line is that Unbearable Lightness is a great read. It helped articulate a lot of feelings I had about my thoughts around food, body image, and sexuality. It also served as a great tool, even though it is not OA-related, for me to share things with my sponsor. I would recommend that you’re in a good space in your own recovery before picking up this book. It can be triggering.